So...going back and reading over my last entry I realized it wasn't exactly complete. My accomplishments for 2008 made it look like a very productive year, but for a large chunk of 2008 I felt exhaused, burnt- out, and had a serious lack of motivation. Everything looks good on paper but I felt like I spent most of the year just going through the motions, which isn't a good feeling.
In 2007, and even in 2006 I busted my ass doing the business side of things - always going to things at The Actors Network, hauling my ass across town to go to a networking group I used to belong to, sending out postcards, thank you notes, etc...with very little results. By the time 2008 rolled around I was so burnt out and frustrated I really felt like for the time being I just needed to act. So I did. I was in a play, I did a really cool student project that I made some connections on, I took a class I'd been putting off forever. Ignored most of the business side of things because I felt like I was getting the same results without trying. Then summer came and went, things slowed down a little, and throw in some major problems at my day job that really affected me, and I pretty much lost my motivation. I felt frustrated about every little thing. Then things got busy again but a lot of the time I felt like I was just going through the motions. Luckilly things really picked up at the end of the year, I found my motivation again, ended 2008 with a bang, and now I feel revved up and ready to go!
On one hand I think, wow, in 2008 I barely did any business-related stuff and had one of my most productive years! I had some HUGE successes! Why bother with all that business-related stuff? I had the same results as years that I did do all that stuff! But then I think, what if I had kept on top of that stuff - would I have had an even more productive year? Or would I have done all that work and still have the same results? Impossible to tell.
The good news is I'm very motivated for 2009. I feel like last year was such a crash and burn and now I'm rebuilding things. I still haven't finished my goals for 2009, but from what I'm hearing that seems to be a common thing. I'm ready to put in 110%! But then I think, how long will that last? Will I end up burnt out again because I'm putting in so much effort with no results? I'm trying not to think about it and for now I'm still ready to go! Or maybe I wasn't putting in 110% before. My first step is to revamp my plan because obviously what I was doing before wasn't working.
I'm also not letting things get to me this year the way they did last year - if there's a slow period, so what. If I have a bad class one night, so what. Problems at my day job, so what. Already 2009 has had some disappointments but I'm not letting them affect me. I honestly honestly feel a lot better about things than I did last year so I hope it continues!
So that's where I am. Man, I've been rambling on in these entries, so I'm gonna shut up now.
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