So in my last post I was talking about N.Y.P., aka Not Your People.
I recently came across another N.Y.P.
This one is someone who's on my target list of people that I'm trying to build relationships with. They're very successful and have worked on some projects I'd love to have been a part of. I met this particular person a couple years ago when I had the opportunity to show them my work...and they were less than impressed. I think it was probably some of the harshest feedback I had gotten at the time. But from what I heard this person was hard on everyone, not mean, just brutally honest. Even the person in charge agreed, but that's how it is out there. Not too long ago I heard this person speak at an event. They had great information but I kind of got the sense maybe they are used to working with people at a higher level than I am right now. Then I saw they were going to be at a workshop. I signed up. It went...okay. Not my best work, but not my worst. Got average feedback. But considering how tough this person is I was actually impressed with the feedback I got. It was better than the feedback I got the first time around.
Now, if I had done horrible at the workshops I've been to recently I'd be concerned. But I've been doing well and getting great feedback. The other interesting thing is that I've met someone that this person has collaborated with in the past and I've gotten great feedback from them.
I also wonder if subconsciously I knew this person didn't like me the first time I met them and that was just sitting in the back of my mind and affected my performance. I really tried to go in there with a "let me show you what I can do now!" attitude. Oh well. I've probably long been forgotten about. And that's fine.
So what does this all mean? I think it's safe to say that this person is an N.Y.P. At least for now. Who knows, maybe a year or two from now when I have more credits I'll cross paths with this person again and they'll love my work. Why burn a bridge now? But for now I think they'll be coming off my target list, at least for workshops. Why spend $40 to try to impress someone who I probably will never impress when I could take that money and use it towards a workshop with someone else on my list, and that person could become a new fan! I actually think Dallas Travers mentioned that you attend a workshop and find out someone is an N.Y.P. and not worth continuing to target, that alone right there is worth the price of the workshop. I might still send postcards, etc. but I think I might just remove them from my list. Why waste the time energy trying to impress an N.Y.P. when I could use that time to be creating or maintaining a relationship with someone who actually likes my work. In the past I've wasted too much time trying to make N.Y.P.s my people...and I need to learn to let go of that.
So N.Y.P., I wish you the best of luck! Hopefully your next project is a success. I'll still check IMDB and Google your name every so often to see what you're up to. And who knows, maybe we'll cross paths again at some point! But for now, I think it's for the best to remove you from my target list.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
N.Y.P.
Not to be confused with P.Y.T. or O.P.P.
Back in 2009 I attended an amazing free seminar given by career coach Dallas Travers. Check out her website - the woman is a genius! Since going to that seminar I've read her book, listened to a bunch of the free teleseminars she does every so often, did a one day workshop with her in 2010, and up until about two months ago was a member of her Thriving Artist Circle but the recent change in my financial situation forced me to take a break.
One of the things I've heard her talk about numerous times is Not Your People. N.Y.P. for short. Dallas explains it so much better than I can but the basic idea is that these people are not your fans, don't care for you or your work, or flat out don't like you. That's their job. And once you realize if someone is a N.Y.P. it makes it so much easier.
I really wish I had been told about this concept years ago.
Several years ago I took acting class at a theater company/acting school which I believe is no longer around, or at least in the same way it was when I took class there. There was an upper level class which I'll call the advanced class even though I think it went by a different name. Once you were in that class there were performance opportunities. I sooooo wanted to be in that class. Everyone who took class there did.
I never got into the class.
Oh I tried...again and again. After taking class there for awhile I left because there was no rhyme or reason to who got into that elusive advanced class. To this day I have no idea what the critera was for getting into that class. I felt like I wasn't learning anything. Something wasn't working for me. I even started to think that certain teachers didn't like my work.
Then I made a huge mistake...I went back to class.
There was no reason for me to go back. There were plenty of other places I could take class. But I so wanted those teachers to like my work, to put me in the advanced class. I knew most of the people in that class, I got to know a lot of people in the theater company. But it felt like no matter how hard I tried I just could not get into that class. I even remember telling a friend about something that happened in class and their response was like, wow, that teacher does not like you! But I persisted. I was determined to make these people like me and put me in that class. Meanwhile, I was getting cast in stuff, etc. so I know I wasn't a bad actress, plenty of people liked my work, but it was like I wanted the one group of people who didn't like my work to like my work. But I wasn't learning anything, wasn't growing, something wasn't working for me. So many times I wanted to scream "help me get better!" But I think by that point it had become more about getting into the advanced class than growing as an actor. Which is interesting because now that I look back most people were more concerned about getting into the class than improving as actors.
Eventually I came to my senses and left. I was devastated, but knew I was not learning anything there. It wasn't the right place for me. There were plenty of other places I could take class.
The bottom line is most of those people were my N.Y.P.s. Wish I had seen it then instead of trying so hard to get them to like my work. (And I've been saying "like my work" because it wasn't anything personal against me or them - they actually liked me as a person) I would've saved myself months of frustration. What a waste of time and energy. I did find out that not too long after I stopped taking class there things started to go downhill and I believe the theater company disbanded for awhile. I think they may have re-structured and came back under a different name.
Now here's the flip side - not getting into that class was probably the best thing that could've happened to me. Not too long after that I got the opportunity to perform with a wonderful and supportive group of amazing and talented actors. I think I performed in various things with them for over 2 years until the group pretty much ran it's course and we all moved on to other things. It was one of the most fun and enjoyable periods of my life. I'm still in touch with most of them. I NEVER would've had this opportunity if I had gotten into that other class. In fact there were so many opportunities I wouldn't have taken if I was in that class. And I probably would've been miserable in that class, lol.
The other good thing that came out of that it really made me re-focus and concentrate on being a better actor than obsessing about what level class I'm in. Of course we all want to feel like we're good enough to be in the best class, but my #1 priority is being a better actor. Which is why I'm in the class I'm in now. :)
Anyway...that long-winded explanation gets me to this. I recently met another N.Y.P. But I'll save it for the next post!
Back in 2009 I attended an amazing free seminar given by career coach Dallas Travers. Check out her website - the woman is a genius! Since going to that seminar I've read her book, listened to a bunch of the free teleseminars she does every so often, did a one day workshop with her in 2010, and up until about two months ago was a member of her Thriving Artist Circle but the recent change in my financial situation forced me to take a break.
One of the things I've heard her talk about numerous times is Not Your People. N.Y.P. for short. Dallas explains it so much better than I can but the basic idea is that these people are not your fans, don't care for you or your work, or flat out don't like you. That's their job. And once you realize if someone is a N.Y.P. it makes it so much easier.
I really wish I had been told about this concept years ago.
Several years ago I took acting class at a theater company/acting school which I believe is no longer around, or at least in the same way it was when I took class there. There was an upper level class which I'll call the advanced class even though I think it went by a different name. Once you were in that class there were performance opportunities. I sooooo wanted to be in that class. Everyone who took class there did.
I never got into the class.
Oh I tried...again and again. After taking class there for awhile I left because there was no rhyme or reason to who got into that elusive advanced class. To this day I have no idea what the critera was for getting into that class. I felt like I wasn't learning anything. Something wasn't working for me. I even started to think that certain teachers didn't like my work.
Then I made a huge mistake...I went back to class.
There was no reason for me to go back. There were plenty of other places I could take class. But I so wanted those teachers to like my work, to put me in the advanced class. I knew most of the people in that class, I got to know a lot of people in the theater company. But it felt like no matter how hard I tried I just could not get into that class. I even remember telling a friend about something that happened in class and their response was like, wow, that teacher does not like you! But I persisted. I was determined to make these people like me and put me in that class. Meanwhile, I was getting cast in stuff, etc. so I know I wasn't a bad actress, plenty of people liked my work, but it was like I wanted the one group of people who didn't like my work to like my work. But I wasn't learning anything, wasn't growing, something wasn't working for me. So many times I wanted to scream "help me get better!" But I think by that point it had become more about getting into the advanced class than growing as an actor. Which is interesting because now that I look back most people were more concerned about getting into the class than improving as actors.
Eventually I came to my senses and left. I was devastated, but knew I was not learning anything there. It wasn't the right place for me. There were plenty of other places I could take class.
The bottom line is most of those people were my N.Y.P.s. Wish I had seen it then instead of trying so hard to get them to like my work. (And I've been saying "like my work" because it wasn't anything personal against me or them - they actually liked me as a person) I would've saved myself months of frustration. What a waste of time and energy. I did find out that not too long after I stopped taking class there things started to go downhill and I believe the theater company disbanded for awhile. I think they may have re-structured and came back under a different name.
Now here's the flip side - not getting into that class was probably the best thing that could've happened to me. Not too long after that I got the opportunity to perform with a wonderful and supportive group of amazing and talented actors. I think I performed in various things with them for over 2 years until the group pretty much ran it's course and we all moved on to other things. It was one of the most fun and enjoyable periods of my life. I'm still in touch with most of them. I NEVER would've had this opportunity if I had gotten into that other class. In fact there were so many opportunities I wouldn't have taken if I was in that class. And I probably would've been miserable in that class, lol.
The other good thing that came out of that it really made me re-focus and concentrate on being a better actor than obsessing about what level class I'm in. Of course we all want to feel like we're good enough to be in the best class, but my #1 priority is being a better actor. Which is why I'm in the class I'm in now. :)
Anyway...that long-winded explanation gets me to this. I recently met another N.Y.P. But I'll save it for the next post!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
One year ago today...
...I made a decision that changed the course of 2010 for me.
I was supposed to do something that night and almost canceled. It was Wednesday, I had Power Group and was going to have to go to work late. Then something that rarely happens happened - I got a commercial audition! From a workshop I had attended that weekend. That means getting to work even later. Considered canceling the plans for that night. I remember sitting in my car outside of the casting office where I had my audition looking at an email on my iPhone about the plans for that night and having to get the address of where I was supposed to go. I remember thinking, do I send an email saying I need the address, or send an email saying I need to cancel? I decided to get the address and go. After my audition I got an email with the address and telling me I have to be there 45 min. earlier than I thought. I need to confirm. One last chance to cancel.... I confirmed. And that set something in motion...
Okay, technically, this was set in motion in November and with a few emails the previous week, but this was one the first of several key moments over the next three weeks where I made a decision that changed something. At the time it didn't feel like a big decision at all. It felt minor. Important, but minor. Little did I know that one minor decision would have a huge impact on me.
I made the right decision, I know I did, it's probably one of the best decisions I've made. But it hasn't always been easy. Overall it's been good, really good, and I know things have worked out the way they're supposed to, but there's a part of me that wonders, what if I canceled? I spent a large part of last summer wishing I could go back in time grab the phone out of my hand and not confirm that email. Has it been worth it?
But whenever I see the positive affect this has had on me and my acting...well, that makes it all worth while.
I still have those emails in a folder somewhere. Can't believe that was a year ago...
I was supposed to do something that night and almost canceled. It was Wednesday, I had Power Group and was going to have to go to work late. Then something that rarely happens happened - I got a commercial audition! From a workshop I had attended that weekend. That means getting to work even later. Considered canceling the plans for that night. I remember sitting in my car outside of the casting office where I had my audition looking at an email on my iPhone about the plans for that night and having to get the address of where I was supposed to go. I remember thinking, do I send an email saying I need the address, or send an email saying I need to cancel? I decided to get the address and go. After my audition I got an email with the address and telling me I have to be there 45 min. earlier than I thought. I need to confirm. One last chance to cancel.... I confirmed. And that set something in motion...
Okay, technically, this was set in motion in November and with a few emails the previous week, but this was one the first of several key moments over the next three weeks where I made a decision that changed something. At the time it didn't feel like a big decision at all. It felt minor. Important, but minor. Little did I know that one minor decision would have a huge impact on me.
I made the right decision, I know I did, it's probably one of the best decisions I've made. But it hasn't always been easy. Overall it's been good, really good, and I know things have worked out the way they're supposed to, but there's a part of me that wonders, what if I canceled? I spent a large part of last summer wishing I could go back in time grab the phone out of my hand and not confirm that email. Has it been worth it?
But whenever I see the positive affect this has had on me and my acting...well, that makes it all worth while.
I still have those emails in a folder somewhere. Can't believe that was a year ago...
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Today is...
...February 15 - two months and a day since I last updated this thing. I have so much I should be doing but here I am trying to revive this nearly dead blog.
The big news since my last post is that I am now unemployed. The place where I had my survival job went out of business at the beginning of January. I found out on New Years Eve. To be honest, it was kind of a relief.
But I've now been forced to re-group. It's been fun for the past month or so sort of hanging out and doing the acting thing, but this week I kind of sobered up, had a panic attack, and is like, crap, I have to figure something out. Do I really push the acting thing during this time? Find a new survival job ASAP? Try to get my side business off the ground? Right now I'm kind of doing all three and I know I can't keep this up. I'm hoping to do a session with a career/life coach type person to get some guidance, but I haven't even filled out the application yet. I just keep telling myself it's going to be okay.
I have been doing a lot of acting-related stuff - did a mailing, filmed a scene for my demo reel, did some CD workshops and networking events, started a new class, took a refresher class, continued with my regular class, started trying to find a commercial agent, and I'm in the process of trying to film an internet short.
Wow. That's a lot. Why can't I get paid for any of this stuff?
I'm also editing demo reels for 2 performers I know. I'd love to make money doing that because I already have the editing software on my computer. Yep, I'd love to avoid having to get another survival job, or at least a full time one.
And of course I'd love to book something!
Okay, I feel a little better now. Things are going to be alright.
In other news I'm going to a CD workshop that I got for a discount - yay! And I'm hoping to help out in a class taught by a working director.
Whew! Okay, I need to try and get a few emails sent before I go to bed.
The big news since my last post is that I am now unemployed. The place where I had my survival job went out of business at the beginning of January. I found out on New Years Eve. To be honest, it was kind of a relief.
But I've now been forced to re-group. It's been fun for the past month or so sort of hanging out and doing the acting thing, but this week I kind of sobered up, had a panic attack, and is like, crap, I have to figure something out. Do I really push the acting thing during this time? Find a new survival job ASAP? Try to get my side business off the ground? Right now I'm kind of doing all three and I know I can't keep this up. I'm hoping to do a session with a career/life coach type person to get some guidance, but I haven't even filled out the application yet. I just keep telling myself it's going to be okay.
I have been doing a lot of acting-related stuff - did a mailing, filmed a scene for my demo reel, did some CD workshops and networking events, started a new class, took a refresher class, continued with my regular class, started trying to find a commercial agent, and I'm in the process of trying to film an internet short.
Wow. That's a lot. Why can't I get paid for any of this stuff?
I'm also editing demo reels for 2 performers I know. I'd love to make money doing that because I already have the editing software on my computer. Yep, I'd love to avoid having to get another survival job, or at least a full time one.
And of course I'd love to book something!
Okay, I feel a little better now. Things are going to be alright.
In other news I'm going to a CD workshop that I got for a discount - yay! And I'm hoping to help out in a class taught by a working director.
Whew! Okay, I need to try and get a few emails sent before I go to bed.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I'm Back!
Okay, so I've seriously neglected this blog. Looking at the last post I'm not even sure what most of it was about, although I do know exactly what the "major demon" that reared it's ugly head was. And I didn't conquer it. Couldn't fight it. Gave into it and it broke me down so much that it shaped a large portion of my year.
Is it possible to change so much but still stay the same? On the outside it all looks the same - still living in the same place, still at the same job, still no agent, no SAG card, haven't booked that one role that will change everything for me, ugh! But on the inside it's different. How do you explain that to people? About a month ago I went to a workshop that talked a lot about inner growth and outer growth. I've done the inner growth. Now I need some outer growth!
2010 was an odd year. I got blindsided by something...twice. Did not see it coming at all. Just when I could accept what happened...wham! Hit by something else and the situation changed again. Threw me for a loop and into a weird headspace. Spent most of the second half of the year just going through the motions, looking for answers and making desperate attempts to get closure and wishing things could go back to the way they were. Eventually I got some of the answers I needed. I don't know if I got closure, but I have accepted the situation for what it is and actually, it's not all that bad, in fact things possibly ended up a little better than I expected and I'm okay with it all...well, most of the time, lol.
The silver lining to this whole thing is that I'm a much better actor than I was before. During the chaos I really, really, really focused on my craft and I think it shows. I do think I've grown.
Anyway...on a more practical note. A quick update as to where am I now. Been in my not so new class for nine months now, wow. Recently went to a screening of a film I did for USC and now hoping and praying the director sends me a copy. Had two auditions this past week. Got new headshots...and everyone seems to love them...except for the one person who's opinion I probably value the most, ugh! So freakin' frustrating! Thinking of going to a CD workshop on Saturday. Planning on self-producing two projects and hopefully filming one during the holidays. Thinking of re-taking a class I took last year as a refresher now that I feel I've grown as an actor. I'm sure there's more.
I'll try to elaborate more in the next few posts, but I think I'll stop here for now.
Is it possible to change so much but still stay the same? On the outside it all looks the same - still living in the same place, still at the same job, still no agent, no SAG card, haven't booked that one role that will change everything for me, ugh! But on the inside it's different. How do you explain that to people? About a month ago I went to a workshop that talked a lot about inner growth and outer growth. I've done the inner growth. Now I need some outer growth!
2010 was an odd year. I got blindsided by something...twice. Did not see it coming at all. Just when I could accept what happened...wham! Hit by something else and the situation changed again. Threw me for a loop and into a weird headspace. Spent most of the second half of the year just going through the motions, looking for answers and making desperate attempts to get closure and wishing things could go back to the way they were. Eventually I got some of the answers I needed. I don't know if I got closure, but I have accepted the situation for what it is and actually, it's not all that bad, in fact things possibly ended up a little better than I expected and I'm okay with it all...well, most of the time, lol.
The silver lining to this whole thing is that I'm a much better actor than I was before. During the chaos I really, really, really focused on my craft and I think it shows. I do think I've grown.
Anyway...on a more practical note. A quick update as to where am I now. Been in my not so new class for nine months now, wow. Recently went to a screening of a film I did for USC and now hoping and praying the director sends me a copy. Had two auditions this past week. Got new headshots...and everyone seems to love them...except for the one person who's opinion I probably value the most, ugh! So freakin' frustrating! Thinking of going to a CD workshop on Saturday. Planning on self-producing two projects and hopefully filming one during the holidays. Thinking of re-taking a class I took last year as a refresher now that I feel I've grown as an actor. I'm sure there's more.
I'll try to elaborate more in the next few posts, but I think I'll stop here for now.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Spring Cleaning
In the past couple months I've made a change, faced 2 fears head on, battled a few inner demons (including a major one that unexpectedly reared it's ugly head) and hopefully won (or at least now know how to make them take a good long nap when I need them to), been put through the wringer (ringer?), and came to some huge realizations.
The thing is I now feel better than ever. Like I cleaned out a bunch of "junk." All this stuff was probably a good thing!
At the moment I'm still kind of in the middle of it all and dealing with the aftermath, so it's all too new and fresh in my mind to elaborate. Someday...someday....
The thing is I now feel better than ever. Like I cleaned out a bunch of "junk." All this stuff was probably a good thing!
At the moment I'm still kind of in the middle of it all and dealing with the aftermath, so it's all too new and fresh in my mind to elaborate. Someday...someday....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Up for the challenge!
Not too long after I made my decision about where to take class I found yet ANOTHER class I want to take. THIS is why I didn't audit more - every class I find out about I want to take, lol. Maybe this class is something I can take further down the road, but I think it might be off the table completely because I think it's twice a week and one of the time slots is really bad for me.
I know people who are in two or three (expensive) classes at a time - how do they afford it? How? Actually, now that I think about it I've done two at a time. It's hard - time wise and money wise.
I have to stop finding classes I wanted to take, lol! Actually there was one class I audited that I didn't care for. Liked what was being taught in the class, liked the teacher, didn't like the people in the class. Couldn't put my finger on it. It almost seemed like no one wanted to be there and they all disliked each other. I did talk to someone else who audited the same class and they got a similar vibe. Then I think I figured it out - they weren't friendly to newcomers. I don't know what it was - were they judgmental? threatened? feeling superior? or just so into preparing for their own scenes that they came off as stand-offish? Whatever it was, I've never been in such and unwelcoming class environment before.
I've only known of one other class like that and I wasn't in the class. I knew people in the class and heard it was very cliquish and if the people in the clique didn't think you were good, or didn't like you, forget it. I think the clique actually got a few people kicked out of the class for these reasons. Instead of the teacher actually helping them get better (*gasp!* what a concept! a teacher actually TEACHING!) they would get kicked out of class. And they found a very clever way of doing it to cover their backs. Now that I think about it, that's lame, if you really think someone doesn't belong in a class just be honest with them, jeez! I know people who have been told straight up they don't belong in a particular class.
So I started my new class. Wow, I think this is going to be pretty intense. INTENSE! And they start you off slow in the class too! I feel like I'm trying to figure out stuff in this class right now. It seems like it's one of those classes that strips away everything - like things you may have relied on or used in the past - and cuts to the chase. I haven't yet figured out how to use all that for auditioning or when I book something, but I'm sure that will come. I've only been in one class! Either I am going to get a lot out of this class or in 2 months I'm going to be like, okay, this is useless. I think this is going to be one of the most challenging classes I've taken.
I do have to say I was very nervous at the start of class but didn't feel bad about anything I did, even when it wasn't good. I also felt like I was very uninhibited in the work I did. It was a feeling of not caring if I completely failed. And I didn't seem to care what other people thought. Usually I get caught up in "am I doing the exercise right?" but I didn't do that. I actually felt really good about my work. Was it my best work? Probably not. Were there things I needed to work on? Definitely. But overall I felt good.
I was telling someone that I was trying to decide between this class and another one I audited. I felt like that class was the one I "wanted" to take, and this class was the one I "needed" to take. I think I made the right decision.
And if I end up hating it a month from now I can always leave and take the other class, lol!
I know people who are in two or three (expensive) classes at a time - how do they afford it? How? Actually, now that I think about it I've done two at a time. It's hard - time wise and money wise.
I have to stop finding classes I wanted to take, lol! Actually there was one class I audited that I didn't care for. Liked what was being taught in the class, liked the teacher, didn't like the people in the class. Couldn't put my finger on it. It almost seemed like no one wanted to be there and they all disliked each other. I did talk to someone else who audited the same class and they got a similar vibe. Then I think I figured it out - they weren't friendly to newcomers. I don't know what it was - were they judgmental? threatened? feeling superior? or just so into preparing for their own scenes that they came off as stand-offish? Whatever it was, I've never been in such and unwelcoming class environment before.
I've only known of one other class like that and I wasn't in the class. I knew people in the class and heard it was very cliquish and if the people in the clique didn't think you were good, or didn't like you, forget it. I think the clique actually got a few people kicked out of the class for these reasons. Instead of the teacher actually helping them get better (*gasp!* what a concept! a teacher actually TEACHING!) they would get kicked out of class. And they found a very clever way of doing it to cover their backs. Now that I think about it, that's lame, if you really think someone doesn't belong in a class just be honest with them, jeez! I know people who have been told straight up they don't belong in a particular class.
So I started my new class. Wow, I think this is going to be pretty intense. INTENSE! And they start you off slow in the class too! I feel like I'm trying to figure out stuff in this class right now. It seems like it's one of those classes that strips away everything - like things you may have relied on or used in the past - and cuts to the chase. I haven't yet figured out how to use all that for auditioning or when I book something, but I'm sure that will come. I've only been in one class! Either I am going to get a lot out of this class or in 2 months I'm going to be like, okay, this is useless. I think this is going to be one of the most challenging classes I've taken.
I do have to say I was very nervous at the start of class but didn't feel bad about anything I did, even when it wasn't good. I also felt like I was very uninhibited in the work I did. It was a feeling of not caring if I completely failed. And I didn't seem to care what other people thought. Usually I get caught up in "am I doing the exercise right?" but I didn't do that. I actually felt really good about my work. Was it my best work? Probably not. Were there things I needed to work on? Definitely. But overall I felt good.
I was telling someone that I was trying to decide between this class and another one I audited. I felt like that class was the one I "wanted" to take, and this class was the one I "needed" to take. I think I made the right decision.
And if I end up hating it a month from now I can always leave and take the other class, lol!
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